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Karen
Nesbitt
It
is widely known that there is a traditional structure to the payment
of wedding costs. Similar to the days when a bride's family would
offer the groom a monetary dowry, the most common tradition is that
the bride's family pays for the wedding.
Over
the years, the financial responsibility of the "Father of the
Bride" has morphed into the financial responsibility of whomever it
is that can afford to pay for the wedding. Consider the different
approaches below, with regards to the divvying up of costs. This may
assist you in determining a scenario that best suits your wedding and
everyone's wallets.
Traditional
The
most common scenario is that the bride's parents pay for the
ceremony and reception, the groom's family pays for the rehearsal
dinner, and the couple pays for their honeymoon. Over the years, it
has become more common for the groom's family to share in the costs
of the ceremony and reception, since they are usually a much more
significant expense than the rehearsal dinner.
Sometimes,
the bride's - and maybe even the groom's - parents have
established a wedding fund for their child that they have contributed
to over the years. In this case, it's not a matter of the child
asking them to pay, it's simply understood that if the child gets
married, the wedding fund will be used to cover or contribute to the
cost of the wedding. It is, also, not uncommon for grandparents to
have a pre-determined amount of money, at their disposal, for the
possible betrothal of their grandchild.
Here
is a detailed breakdown of the traditional "who pays for what:"
- Bride's
family
- Engagement
party
- Wedding
announcements, invitations, and postage
- Wedding
coordinator/consultant
- Bridesmaid
luncheon or party
- Bride's
wedding attire
- Their
own wedding attire
- Photos
and videos
- Flowers
- Fees
for ceremony site and musicians
- Ceremony
accessories such as programs, guest book, aisle runners, canopies,
chairs, trellis, ring pillow, unity candle, rose petals for the
aisle, bird seed to shower the couple with as they exit the ceremony
and/or reception sites
- Transportation
for the bridal party to the ceremony and reception
- All
reception costs
- A
gift to the couple
Groom's
family
- Rehearsal
dinner
- Their
own wedding attire
- Their
own travel costs and accommodations
- After-wedding
brunch
- Gift
to the couple
Bride
- Gift
for the groom
- Groom's
wedding ring
- Her
own hair and make-up
- Accommodations
for her out of town attendants, if financially feasible
- Gifts
for her attendants
- Personal
stationary and thank you notes
Groom
- Bride's
engagement and wedding rings
- Gift
for the bride
- His
own wedding attire
- Marriage
license and other legal fees
- Officiant
fee
- Accommodations
for his out of town attendants
- Honeymoon,
including any needed immunizations for travel
Bride's
attendants or the parents of child attendants
- Individual
gifts for the couple or a joint gift from all
- Their
own attire and accessories
- Their
own travel expenses
- Bachelorette
party and bridal shower
Groom's
attendants or the parents of child attendants
- Individual
gifts for the couple or a joint gift from all
- Their
own wedding attire
- Their
own travel expenses
- Bachelor
party
Out
of town guests
- Their
own travel costs and accommodations
- A
gift for the couple
Modern
Some
schools of thought are that, if a couple cannot pay for their own
wedding, or even part of it, they should wait until they can. Some
see the traditional "father of the bride pays" as outdated, and
from a time when children were married at much younger ages, before
they were self-sufficient, and when they relied on their parents for
financial support. A more modern alternative is for the parents of
both the bride and groom to make contributions that fit within their
budget. The couple, then, pays for the remainder. Here are some ways
a couple can pull that off:
- Start
a wedding account, that you'll contribute to each month.
- If
you get an income tax refund, dedicate it to your wedding fund.
- Apply
for a high-limit credit card that offers reward points and a 0%
promotional APR (which usually lasts for the first 12 billing cycles,
so plan accordingly). This credit line will allow you to make
deposits, and do so well in advance, so that your monthly payments
are smaller.
- Don't
fret too much. Remember that any cash wedding gifts you receive will
help refill your pocketbook!
References
and Resources
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070508185933AAytpYS
http://www.gardenandhearth.com/weddingonabudget/Wedding-Responsibility.htm
http://www.wedalert.com/content/articles/who_pays_for_what.asp
http://www.weddingsgalore.com/finances.html
http://www.topweddinglinks.com/etiquette.html
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