By Karen Nesbitt
What may seem a joyful yet daunting task — planning your wedding — can be made much more manageable, enjoyable, and sane if you make a conscious effort to plan ahead. Creating a checklist and executing it according to time and budget restraints while exercising financial savvy along the way … now that’s what we call planning.
Our most valuable advice: Do not be afraid to ask for help from your family and friends! They are usually thrilled and honored to contribute to your special day, and, whenever feasible, will work for free.
12-18 months from your wedding day
Determine who will be contributing what amount of money, and then calculate your budget — the cornerstone upon which you will be making all of your subsequent decisions.
If finances allow, hire a wedding consultant. This can be to your advantage in that these professionals develop relationships with local vendors and service providers and get to know their businesses very well. Many times, vendors will offer their services at a reduced rate, with the hope of being referred to again. Of course, if you’re organized enough to be your own coordinator and can acquire the commitment of assistance from family and friends, you will save the most money.
In either scenario, it is helpful to purchase or create a wedding organizer for a variety of uses, namely:
collecting inspiring photos of gowns, reception ideas, etc.
tracking appointments
organizing bills
scheduling payments
compiling a guest list, complete with addresses for invitations and thank you notes
keeping up with the typical showering of gifts once your engagement is announced
Decide if you and your fiancé wish to invest in wedding insurance.
Make your guest list so that you’ll have an approximate headcount upon which to base all of your planning.
Select the date, time and venue(s). Since you’ve already established your budget, you will be able to select a date, time and location that fit within it. This will allow your vendors the opportunity to accommodate your wishes as they work within your budget. Do not be afraid to negotiate in an effort to stay true to your budget. Remember, you are the customer and you will have the final say as to what will be done with your money.
Having your ceremony and reception in the same location will save you a significant amount of money in the rental and decoration of the facility, as well as in transportation. By the same token, if you are having a destination wedding, have the location serve double duty, for both your ceremony and honeymoon. It will still feel like you and your fiancé have been whisked away to a world all your own.
An economical venue location could be a historical home, a park, a museum, a public garden or arboretum, your home, or the beach. You can also save money by selecting off-peak dates and times, such as a weekday evening or a Sunday afternoon.
If an officiant does not come with your ceremony venue, choose and book yours. Ask about any requirements needed to marry you.
Announce the good news to your family and friends! Have an engagement photo taken and register with a wedding website, taking advantage of its resources to announce your engagement through an e-mail that contains a link to your page on the site. For the more traditional at heart, find out the engagement announcement policies of your local newspapers, and plan accordingly.
Make a sound investment in software to help you design and print your own engagement announcements, save-the-date-cards, invitations, place cards and thank you notes. There are many easy programs available, with templates included. Or, recruit a willing, design-oriented and computer-efficient friend or family member to do them for you. Go one step further toward preserving your piggy bank by sending all of your communications to your guests virtually.
Plan an informal engagement party with family and close friends … a simple, cost-efficient gathering with homemade hors d’oeuvres or a bbq picnic.
Establish your wedding theme. Decide whether to go formal or informal, and whether you prefer a daytime or evening wedding. Investigate all religious or cultural customs belonging to your family’s histories that you may want to incorporate into your ceremony and reception.
Select your photographer. Take advantage of the talents of a family member or close friend whose work you admire and who is organized enough to document and photograph all of the poses that you desire. If you are having a destination wedding, you can offer to pay for their plane ticket and supplies in exchange for their services. Many times, this will cost significantly less than the full services of a professional photographer. Also, consider placing disposable cameras on each of your reception tables to encourage guests to help you capture candid photos of your special day.
Choose attendants and confirm their participation.
Choose and meet with your florist, or lessen the dent in your budget by purchasing your flowers from a floral warehouse, picking up ribbon and pearl-tipped pins from a craft store, and recruiting friends and family to help assemble your bouquets, corsages and boutonnieres. Another great option is to choose seasonal blooms for your bouquets, corsages and wedding decorations. This will automatically cut down on special shipment costs. Sentimental brides, with a lot of foresight and a green thumb, might choose to plant their own wedding garden, growing all of the flowers to be used in their wedding.
Select your caterer. A buffet-style dinner is more economical than a table-service meal, and affords the added benefit of ensuring that all of your guests get their fill and that no one leaves hungry. Alternatively, you can choose a time of day when guests do not expect to be served a meal, and serve only appetizers. Or, ask some of the good cooks in your family or circle of friends to prepare one of their favorite recipes to contribute to a family-style buffet.
Meet with wedding cake designers or bakers and arrange for a tasting. Think of any family or friends who are bakers and may be willing to create your celebratory confections, either as your wedding gift or at a discounted rate. Cut down on food costs by using your cake as the only dessert.
Book your musicians and/or disc jockey service. Save money by creating your own music for the ceremony and reception. Select songs that have significant meaning to you and your relationship, and create mixed CDs by downloading the music onto a computer. You can even hand out copies as wedding favors. Alternatively, ask a friend to fill the fun position of DJ for a day. You can also investigate your options within the music programs at local colleges and universities and ask for ceremony musicians by recommendation. And by all means, don't overlook the singing and musical talents of anyone on your guest list!
Determine and schedule transportation. In lieu of a limo, consider the also stylish vintage car, horse-drawn carriage, or sports car rental. Instead of hiring drivers, ask friends and family to help transport you and your bridal party.
Make your own centerpieces. Purchase votive candles and holders at a craft store, and buy potted, seasonal plants in bulk and place them in clay pots that you can get for around $1 each. Encircle the plants with votives and you have romantic centerpieces of flickering candlelight bouncing off of charming blooms such as tulips or daffodils. The plants can double as great wedding favors.
Plan your honeymoon, seeking out atypical locations. This does not rule out popular honeymoon spots, but may require a more intensive Internet search for accommodations at more modest prices than the typical honeymoon resorts. You can find charming, off-the-beaten-path lodging such as a neighborhood bungalow hotel in Mexico, a romantic cabin in the mountains, or a quaint, family-run bed and breakfast in a sleepy coastal town. Make sure your passports are current and find out if any immunizations are needed for travel.
Shop for a new home.
Register for gifts, establishing a couple of different registries so that your guests have a variety of price points and options.
6 to 12 months from your wedding day
Select and order all wedding attire and accessories, including your honeymoon wardrobe. Consider an economic alternative to the typical formal wear that most couples and their wedding attendants will likely never wear again. If you want to go with the traditional gown, seek out sample sales, or demo gowns that were used at a fashion show or in a display.
If applicable, assist out-of-town guests with their accommodations. Reserve a block of hotel rooms through group sales at your selected hotel. This is your best bet for securing a discount on rooms for your guests.
Choose and order your venue decorations. If you’re planning your wedding on your own, ask friends to help with your decorations. Make a party of it!
Choose wedding favors. Many times, making your own is the most cost-effective. Select something that symbolizes you and your fiancé’s unique union, or that will serve as a memento from your wedding. Your attendees might also appreciate a sustainable favor — easy on your pocketbook and good for the environment — such as seed-embedded paper of the same flower variety you used in your wedding.
Decide on your rehearsal dinner location, date, time, and guest list. Host it yourself and save the cost of a venue and caterer, or ask a close family friend or family member to host it. You could offer to cover the cost of the food.
Reserve any rental equipment needed, including tents, tables, chairs, dinnerware and linens. Before deciding on a venue, be sure to ask which rental items, if any, are included in the cost. Many times, venues will offer a certain number of tables and chairs with each rental.
Select and order wedding rings (considering the more economical “pre-loved” vintage bands, which are many times prettier than their newer counterparts) and order any engraving.
Select your hair and make-up artist. Don’t rule out talented family members and friends! To ensure your satisfaction with the outcome, you can ask for a trial run before the big day.
Choose wedding accessories: ring pillow, champagne flutes, cake serving set, guest book, pen, garter, unity candle set, flower girl basket, bridal purse, keepsake cake topper, and photo album. Complete collections are available online at a discount, or you can ask for them in your registry.
Attend any premarital classes desired by you or required by your church.
4 to 6 months from your wedding day
Send save-the-date cards or announce the date by phone or, as mentioned previously, by e-mail.
Determine your reception seating plan.
Research the marriage license requirements of the state/country in which you’ll be married. Arrange for blood tests, if applicable.
If changing your name, order name change kit or research requirements online.
Create the program for your ceremony.
Create welcome baskets or gift bags for out-of-town guests. Drop them off at the front desk of the hotel(s) where your guests are staying. They will feel warmly welcomed when they arrive and are presented with the thoughtful gift. This gesture doesn’t have to be costly … buy local foods for a food basket or buy fun goodies at your local dollar store!
If you’re moving into a new residence, send change-of-address cards. Be sure to notify the Post Office of your pending address change, so it can properly route your mail after the nuptials. Time it correctly so that your gifts are not sent to your old address after you move!
Consult with a lawyer regarding your prenuptial agreement, if applicable, and all other legal matters, including wills, life insurance policies, insuring joint property, consolidating car insurance, and establishing a joint bank account.
Plan bridesmaid luncheon and purchase or make bridal party gifts.
Make sure all out-of-town male attendants have submitted their measurements to your formal wear provider, and ensure that both mothers have selected and ordered their outfits.
2 to 3 months from your wedding day
Mail invitations. If applicable, include a map to the venue(s) and guest accommodations.
Order wedding cake.
Confirm all vendor details.
Write thank you cards as you receive gifts.
Pen your wedding vows and purchase your spouse’s gift.
Pick up wedding rings and confirm proper fit and engraving.
Schedule final gown fitting.
Confirm ceremony details with your officiant.
Schedule hair and make-up appointments, including the trial run, for you and your bridesmaids.
Confirm that all wedding party attire has been fitted.
Send your wedding announcement to chosen newspaper(s) and/or arrange for it to be posted on your online wedding page, or announced via e-mail through the wedding website. While on your honeymoon, ask a friend to send your wedding photo to the website host, so that they can include it with your announcement.
Obtain any foreign currency/traveler’s checks needed for the honeymoon.
Ask a family member or friend to contact any guests who have not RSVP’d.
Confirm honeymoon plans.
1 month from your wedding day
Ask family members and close friends to be on the wedding day help crew.
Make sure all wedding attire is with its respective people and is clean and pressed.
Arrange for the cleaning and preserving of your gown and bouquet.
Confirm hair and make-up appointments.
Confirm that all attendants know where to go and when to arrive at the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, and ceremony.
Write toasts for the rehearsal dinner and reception.
Arrange for someone to babysit/petsit/water your plants/bring in the mail while you are honeymooning. Or, put a hold on all mail and newspaper/magazine subscriptions.
1 to 2 weeks from your wedding day
Re-confirm all vendor details.
Pack for honeymoon.
In case of emergency while you’re on your honeymoon, provide a family member or friend, as well as your house/pet/babysitter, with your travel itinerary and contact information.
Pay all bills that will be due while you’re away.
Break in your wedding shoes by treading around on the carpet of your home.
Attend hair and make-up practice session.
Enjoy your bachelor and bachelorette parties!
1 to 3 days from your wedding day
Designate a family member to ensure that all out-of-town guests are arriving as planned and are settling into their accommodations.
Pack an “emergency kit” for the wedding that contains items like spare pantyhose, sewing supplies, and headache medicine!
Enjoy a manicure, pedicure and massage.
Pick up rental attire for groomsmen.
Make sure best man has rings.
Assign responsibilities to your wedding party, such as handing out corsages and boutonnieres, greeting and seating guests, and checking on vendors.
Prepare final payment in individual envelopes for each vendor.
Your wedding eve
Attend rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. Give attendants their gifts.
Take some time out to relax and enjoy the company of your out-of-town family and friends.
Take a long, leisurely bubble bath.
Your wedding day!
Go to hair and make-up appointment.
Get dressed.
Take a deep breath! Relax and enjoy! Remember to stay present. Too many of us get hyper focused on the details and forget to relish in the moment.
References and Resources
http://www.a-weddingday.com/articles/weddingtimetable.html
http://www.vertex42.com/ExcelTemplates/wedding-checklist.html
http://www.wedalert.com/content/planning/checklist.asp
http://weddings.about.com/blchecklist1.htm
http://www.frugalbride.com/completeweddingchecklist.html
http://www.a-weddingday.com/planning/nilybudget.html
http://www.americanbridal.com/bridchec.html
http://www.lovegevity.com/engagement/bride/article17.html
http://www.fotoman.com/tips/checklist.shtml
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